Ever get the ffeling that you are sworn to secrecy but you don't think its right???

What about it what you knew could change what everyone else thought about someone??

The purpose of this journal, is for me just to go ah F**k off.

The great thing about being in my position at the moment is that I can seem to be the happiest person in the world to your face, but in reality when I go back into being in my own company I just die and collapse.

ON saturday I found out sound pretyt crappy news, that tbh would have saved a hell of a lot of work if I had known sooner. Another typical weekend passed, going into work on Saturday to fix something that had broken, possible hacker we thought - but that seemed not to be the case.

Saturday night, I went to see my girlfriend playing curling, to be honest I got bored half way thorough and used my phone to get on the internet.
Sunday, I spent the whole day in my house on the own - yet again. My own company is really not the best for me, makes me think crazy things, makes me worry and worst of all makes me contomplate my possition.
After spendingabout 6 hours playing counter strike, I went to the curling again, my girlfriend won that competition and yes I was happy for her but the atmosphere seemed slightly clouded due to the fact that I was pretty down due to my mind taking over my being. This did not end well.

As I left the curling to do the hour and a half walk home, my mind was going wild. Nothing seemed to make sense to me no matter whatever way I thought about it.

I have been accepted for glasgow uni, so I guess I have that to look forward to, but I have this weird attitude on life.

I just like to say this, I am not being some patthetic guy, I just have a lot to deal with at the moment.

There is onemajor dilema that I have at the moment, which I have no idea what to do about. Hopefully though the person it is related to will understand where I am coming from and hopefully be able to understand what the hell I am causing all the fuss about.


I have to say, finally it makes me fell better to get all this stuff written out in the open, so its not going over and over in my mind making me thing bloody crazy things.

I just hope that I can update this, later to say that my mind can be put to ease.

Reste avec moi pour la vie- Mhairi

You are my life, my dream my only thing that matters, please never forget that!!